Where Have I Been All My Life?
Middle-aged apparently defines my present state of existence, if commercials and media are to be trusted. The average male lifespan in America is about 79 years, so in reality I am probably closer to a three-quarters of the way through my expected tour of duty. But to quote a line from a George Strait song, "I still feel 25, most of the time". Just not first thing in the morning before coffee.
With the likelihood of more years behind than before me, it's time to take stock of my life. Unless done with care, this can spiral my emotions into a funk. Mistakes and regrets crowd in to overshadow successes and joys. My thoughts and emotions prove untrustworthy during these rear-view mirror sessions. Perspective is the antidote, from those who have known me long and well .
Lately my bucket list has been in need of attention. Plans have not been executed for one reason or another. Most often the delays are due to assuming there would always be another opportunity. Yeah, about that.
Time as a way of lulling us into believing we will always have tomorrow, even though all of us have lost friends "before their time". Somehow we think that won't happen to us, and we are guaranteed long and healthy lives. Denial can be a powerful way to self-medicate, until you spend time with someone with only hours to live.
Yeah, I know, carpe diem and all that. Scripture tells us "What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." But it's pretty easy to be distracted from the big picture by the here and now. The demands of each day can be all consuming. Then one day "suddenly" the kids are grown and starting their own families, careers are sunsetting, and those crow's feet are more distinct. Friends begin to ask about retirement. AARP now seems like a pretty cool organization. There is a deepening and urgent desire to matter; to have made some positive difference along the way.
Time is moving faster than we think. Awareness of time wasted is now a frequent companion. So that bucket list has become an action item list, beginning with a visit to Yellowstone this summer. Discernment is needed regarding how time is invested. People are more important than profits, promotions, and accolades. I am stockpiling memories of time spent with loved ones against the possibility when health or other limitations prevent creating new ones.
I am learning to live in the moment, not allowing the enjoyment of the present to be stolen by regrets of the past nor the anxieties of the future. Perhaps middle aged is less about years and more about balance. I like where the fulcrum is.
With the likelihood of more years behind than before me, it's time to take stock of my life. Unless done with care, this can spiral my emotions into a funk. Mistakes and regrets crowd in to overshadow successes and joys. My thoughts and emotions prove untrustworthy during these rear-view mirror sessions. Perspective is the antidote, from those who have known me long and well .
Lately my bucket list has been in need of attention. Plans have not been executed for one reason or another. Most often the delays are due to assuming there would always be another opportunity. Yeah, about that.
Time as a way of lulling us into believing we will always have tomorrow, even though all of us have lost friends "before their time". Somehow we think that won't happen to us, and we are guaranteed long and healthy lives. Denial can be a powerful way to self-medicate, until you spend time with someone with only hours to live.
Yeah, I know, carpe diem and all that. Scripture tells us "What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." But it's pretty easy to be distracted from the big picture by the here and now. The demands of each day can be all consuming. Then one day "suddenly" the kids are grown and starting their own families, careers are sunsetting, and those crow's feet are more distinct. Friends begin to ask about retirement. AARP now seems like a pretty cool organization. There is a deepening and urgent desire to matter; to have made some positive difference along the way.
Time is moving faster than we think. Awareness of time wasted is now a frequent companion. So that bucket list has become an action item list, beginning with a visit to Yellowstone this summer. Discernment is needed regarding how time is invested. People are more important than profits, promotions, and accolades. I am stockpiling memories of time spent with loved ones against the possibility when health or other limitations prevent creating new ones.
I am learning to live in the moment, not allowing the enjoyment of the present to be stolen by regrets of the past nor the anxieties of the future. Perhaps middle aged is less about years and more about balance. I like where the fulcrum is.
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